Clear The Air I

Wayne had really stepped up as a husband. He even put aside that she had cheated and said that he would raise the baby as his. Nicki loved this new side of him and he even went to the parenting classes with her. Today she was at a water birthing class and was three months and a half. Candi was with her even though she was upset with her. Candi rolled her eyes and grunted every time she had to do something for Nicki. They had free hour, so Nicki turned to her and folded her arms across her chest.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing, Nic."

"It's something! You've..."

"YOU! Like, I can't believe you did that to him! Like, I talked him into talking to you again and you just stepped on his heart again then again!"

"What? I didn't.."

"You did! You got what you wanted then left him for a nigga who ain't shit! All he ever wanted was you! He never asked you for shit and he never treated you like shit! Your family gives this nigga, Wayne, so much credit like he really helped you get over Webb. Biggest joke of all time. It was Safaree who stayed up those nights when you cried, it was him who helped you pay your apartment bills and even let you stay at his until you got yourself together...."

"Candi!"

"I'm not fucking done. You just wanted a baby! If that's all you wanted, you should've just been completely honest with him. You told him, you were in love with him. Why? Cause it sounded good? Or to get your way? Huh? Which?"

Nicki wiped her wet hand on her face then hit the water as she tried rushing out of it. The other future mom's looked her way as she stepped out the side of the pool with Candi following close behind. Nicki sat on the bench in front of the lockers and let the tears fall from her eyes. Candi rubbed her back as her breathing slowed down and she began breathing normally.

"I am in love with him, but what if I fuck up and can't treat him better than Draya did? What if he just wants me for sex?"

"Nicki, he's in love with you. The fact you cut him out of his own child's life; for Wayne, is crazy. That night you told him you were going back to Wayne, he called his mom and went home. He didn't do shit for a week, but go to that Father class. You know who was there for him, tho? Draya and you wonder why he wants to marry her? Get it together.. For yourself or you're going to lose him."

"He's back with her?"

"Nah, they're starting over."

Nicki knew Candi was right. She had only wanted the baby from him those first few months then as the years came around she loved his attention and affection eventually falling for him, but she also loved the idea of being married and raising a child with married parents. The last month or so, she did tell Safaree that he didn't have to come to the classes with her anymore because she could handle it on her own, but it was really to keep him at a distance and to build back with Wayne. Candi stared at the lockers as Nicki sat just sniffling to herself. 

"I don't know..."

"Know what?"

"To do?"

She answered smally.

"Do you love Safaree?"

"Of course!"

"What about Wayne?"

"I use to."

"Then why are you with him?"

"We're married!"

"Which is stupid! You should've been married to Safaree!"

"Why?"

She asked angry now that Candi had said it. Her mom had told her the same thing recently, but not so directly. Why did everyone feel that he was the one for her and not Wayne?

"Because he actually loves you! Whenever you call him, he's there and never questions you. Nicki, who was there at your first design meeting? Safaree. Who road the bus with you all the way there? Safaree. Who picked you up at 4 in the morning when Webbed kicked you out and you had no place to stay? Safaree! What has he asked you for in return? Your love, time and affection. That you half ass give him. He juggled his relationship, work and still made time for you."

"Okay! I get it."

Safaree rolled over on his side and jumped a little seeing her small body next to him with her curls all over her face. He just stared at her as she slept. She twisted her lip up then pushed them to the side. Her dimples appeared as her lips folded. He sat up on the side of the bed not really wanting to see her. She had burned the bridge between them and he was done with her. Or so that's what he had in mind to be. He pause at the feeling over her small fingers wrapped tightly around his wrist. He looked back into her sleepy eyes then quickly turned away from her.

"How did you get in here?"

"Draya."

"I told her I wasn't speaking to you anymore."

"I know, but I talked her into it. Listen, Faree..."

"Onika, I don't care. I'm done, yo."

"Hear me out, first!!" She shouted becoming upset by his rudeness. She dropped her hand on the bed and looked at his back. "I'm sorry. For all of this. Faree, at first I did only want you for the baby, but every time we had sex.... I kept seeing the love and time you did to my body. It was everything and I couldn't get enough of you. I fell for you and us having a baby made it so much better, but I'm married. I never wanted to cheat on my husband to get what I wanted and I never meant..."

"Yeah, you did. Nicki it's not about that! Fuck the affair! You purposely tried to exclude me from my own child's life is my problem! You want that nigga to be the father of my child just to make you feel better or whatever..."

"Marriage is forever, I can't go..."

"Marriage this Married that! Fuck your marriage Nicki! We been fucking the entire two years you been married."

He shouted pushing off the bed. Nicki sat up and rubbed over her tummy. She watched him as he paced back and forth silently talking to himself while avoiding looking at her. 

"So what are you saying Faree?"

"Nothing, there ain't no point. My feelings don't matter..."

"They do! Faree, I'm trying to apologize and all you're doing is throwing what happen in my face! I know what we did was wrong and I shouldn't have played you, but if you let me, I'll fix it."

"Nicki, you can't fix nothing. You're so in love with being married, you'd sacrifice your real feelings for it. You want to know what I want?" He asked looking at her, but didn't wait for her to answer. "You! That's it. I want to build something with you and not have to keep going back to something I don't want. Yeah, Draya makes me happy, but not like you.. Just being in the room with you makes my heart happy and I'm in love with you. Even though you put me through the most, I still want to be with Onika."

He rambled off. She walked over and stood in front of him. She looked up at him and wrapped her arms around him. She squeezed him tight as she puckered her lips. He shook his head and pried away from her grip.

"Stay married. If I can't have you, I just want to be in my child's life and he/she should know I'm their father."

"Why you think I wouldn't let them know?"

"You don't want me at the parenting classes with you and then you stop coming to the Father classes with me. We were doing them together until he came."

"I'm sorry, look, I promise to include you in everything is you promise to never turn your back on me."

"I promise."

"Kiss?"

"Nah, you got a man."

"Please?"

He shook his head then pecked her cheek. She frowned the quickly grabbed his face before he pulled all the way back. She kissed his full lips and sucked his bottom lip. He chuckled at her tongue sliding across his bottom lip and up to his top lip then down to his chin.

"Don't play me again."